Folks says he has proof of affair

BY YVONNE WENGER,

COLUMBIA -- Nikki Haley said she's done talking about allegations that she had an adulterous sexual relationship.

Don't keep me in suspense, P&C. What's the proof? Come on. Give a dog a bone. I'll go ahead and elaborate now that I never click on the links I get with my morning emails. So the entire story to me is read by headline and lede. And truthfully, does it need to be explored further? Knowing the P&C, the obvious answer is no. So here, after actually getting a desire to click on link to find out what the proof is, I realized I really don't care. And the entire story is right here. The funny thing is this story has legs in a boring, slow news summer. Spoleto is starting and again, nobody cares about that. But Nikki Haley got some blogger loving? I'm intrigued to read my emails. Saying this, thanks Nikki for teaching all future female politicians to not have sex with bloggers. (Sigh).

On to the Republican sex jokes:

Governor and blogger sex is the best role playing because you get to blog all over the Govs eyes.

Give the governor a harumph...and a hummer.

Republican sex: Even Mormons know there's more then missionary.

South Carolina is a backwards state. So turn that ass around and i'll tap that while we watch NASCAR.

Another guilty plea in Ravenel drug case

Etcheber, 3 years probation

Simple and to the point. Its nice when I read the email ledes and they are broken down for retards to understand. To this i say, "Tank Ewww."

School seizing cell phones raises questions

Eric Roberts understands why Westview Middle School officials confiscated his daughter's cell phone when she was caught with it turned on during school for the second time.

Whats better then raising questions about something? Understanding them before you actually ask a question. Interesting headline and lede here. "School seizing cells phones raises questions." Ok. I'm intrigued. What are those questions? Oh, whatever they are they are understood. I got it. This is standard procedure and practices for writing ledes. Let me try:

Rampant Outbreak of AIDS in Lowcountry Questioned

"Charlie understands that sex without condom might lead to STDs or Aids....now."

Perfect.

Police shoot, kill armed suspect

BY ANDY PARAS

SUMMERVILLE -- A man shot to death by police officers near Summerville High School was wanted for robbing a convenience store, kidnapping a woman and sexually assaulting her, authorities said.

Friend 1: How was your day?

Friend 2: Oh you know. Robbed a convenience store, kidnapped a woman, sexually assaulted her and then got shot to death. Ho hum, ho hum.

Friend 1: Did you get my Cheetos?

Friend 2: You always think about yourself.

A MAN WAS SHOT TO DEATH!!! I'm already intrigued. Keep me going, please. How was he shot? What caused it? Did he fire a gun towards police? High speed chase? What happened? Give me some drama. Im so excited to find out.

Did I get this? No. I got what hes wanted for. Sure thats interesting but not what I'm looking for. I want something completely interesting that'll keep me talking for days. But I get what happened maybe previously or a day or two ago. Blah. This is a shame. There's only so many people that get shot to death by police. When it happens, the reporter needs to be on his game and make it intriguing. Here's hoping it'll happen again so we can try again.

(By the way, I'm kidding. I don't want anybody shot again. Let's just get it right the first time. )

Saks leaving

BY ALLYSON BIRD and WARREN WISE, The Post and Courier

Saks Fifth Avenue, which helped transform King Street from a rundown corridor to a bustling upscale retail district, plans to close by mid-July.

Because of the headline, my first thought was, "The Teabaggers are leaving?" Alas, no. We just are left with lame headlines about Saks Fifth Avenue leaving Charleston.

Brevity is the soul of headlines. Do we need the whole name Saks Fifth Avenue in the headline? No. Are you sure? Can you just put Saks 5th Ave.? No. Again, it kinda works well. Well, ok. Saks will suffice. Should we add any more information that will make us read this story? No. Just add leaving behind the word Saks? Ok. You know best editors. This headline is like Sarah Palin: straight, to the point and shoots wolves from helicopters. Bonus points if anyone adds this story also has a retarded baby. (Yes I went there.)

Wreck occurs at Brookland property

BY SCHUYLER KROPF

EDISTO ISLAND -- Authorities responded to a small- vehicle wreck Sunday at the plantation property connected to former S.C. Treasurer Thomas Ravenel.

I have to hand it to Schuyler. The man (I hope?) sure knows how to pique my interest in a story. Do I really care about a small vehicle wreck on Edisto Island? No. But throw in the words Thomas Ravenel and I'm instantly nostalgic for a time when I snorted half my weight in cocaine in my 20s while working F&B at a downtown bar. Amazing what one man's legacy will do to your own memories.

Oh, Thomas Ravenel. You're drug addiction is sorely missed in the news. However, thank you for owning properties at one time and then selling them so the P&C can use that missing link in atrocious, boring stories. Also...are you holding? Just curious.

Two local military men to get awards

Staff report

Two local members of the U.S. military who were decorated for service in Afghanistan will be recognized Thursday as part of the 2010 Trojan Labor American Hero Awards. The event will be on the fantail deck of the aircraft carrier Yorktown at Patriots Point.

Hooray for decorating soldiers! Hooray for Don't Ask, Don't Tell! Hooray for making me think of the two while adding the words "two military men," "decorated," "Trojan," and "fantail" to the lede. Was the "Poopdeck" taken? (Yes its a cheap and old joke that seemed expected, but it needed to be added. DONT JUDGE ME!)

Fixing Walterboro's image

BY GLENN SMITH


WALTERBORO -- Gangs locked in combat. Bullets flying in the night. Police calling for reinforcements to quell the violence.




Quick. I have no way to send my story to my editor other then by tweet. And......go. Ok. So, Ill start with Walterboro and then throw a quick fragment, another fragment and one more fragment. Damn you, 140 characters. And...done. Whew. Thank a third world deity our editors just don't care anymore. #Sad,Idonteither.

And yes, English majors. I understand these aren't fragments. However, nobody should write like this. Well, unless you write for the P&C.

Welcoming Myself Back

Well, its been a year and I've decided to come back to blogging. Let's watch as I'll try this again for a month and then quit for another year. Let the motivation begin.

Special-needs kids victimized

BY JILL COLEY

Children with special needs are more often the subject of bullying and exclusion, an area study found.


This was also the lead story in DUH! Magazine last week. Also, in that issue: fruit is good for you, cars have ability to go fast and a story about breathing oxygen.

This also reminds me of my favorite The Onion headline of all time: "Gay Retard Teased."

City strives to get stolen funds back

BY DAVID SLADE

Danny Molony, who was sent to prison in 2004 for his role in the largest public corruption scandal Charleston had seen in decades, is living a quiet life these days selling eyeglasses at a King Street shop, while the city continues its effort to recoup all the money he stole.


For those burned by Mr. Molony and think you could do a better job extracting money from him or just want to exact revenge, his work address is...

Way to go, P&C.

'You can't believe they can't read.'

BY DIETTE COURRÉGÉ

One out of every five Alice Birney Middle School students reads so poorly that he needs daily intensive reading classes, sometimes at the second-grade level.




From the makers of I Can't Believe Its Not Butter and the parents that bred too young comes "You Can't Believe They Can't Read."

I am assuming that each day, the P&C will be doing an expose on illiteracy in the Lowcountry. My blog thanks you now for the material.

Ford seeks black supporters

BY DAVID SLADE

State senator and gubernatorial hopeful Robert Ford sought to gain more support from the black community for his controversial school choice legislation on Saturday evening at the annual meeting of the Charleston County Chapter of the South Carolina Coalition for Black Voter Participation.


I am so glad I finally get an explanation for the acronym C.C.C.o.t.S.C.C.f.B.V.P..

Performers, artists show off talents at fete

Today through Saturday, be sure to check out the North Charleston Arts Festival featuring some of the best local artists and performers showcasing their skills throughout the city.


Oh man, I'm going to get it for this one...but here I go:

North Charleston has an arts festival? You mean other then the pictures of seagulls at the beach hanging at motels and the area's favorite restaurant, Olive Garden.

Let this sink in: North Charleston Arts Festival. Yep that's right. That's an oxymoron.

This is North Charleston. If you want to urge them to come out, please do not use French to describe party. Party, festival or fiesta will suffice.

Also, if you want to urge North Charlestonians to come out and support this, do not use the word art.

Is this like the Special Ed art students who didn't make it into Spoleto or even Piccolo Spoleto?

Further into the story, we are given this gem: "More than 40 stage performances, including magicians, dance groups, bands, theater troupes, vocalists and storytellers." Yep that's right. Magic is art now.

Some unhappy despite changes

BY GLENN SMITH

The Charleston fire chief's office once resembled a shrine of sorts, each nook and cranny packed with artwork, plaques, photos and memorabilia celebrating the rich history of the "bravest profession." That's all gone now. These days, the space looks more like a war room.

It might be my warped mind but when I see "bravest profession" I think of prostitution. Thank you Glenn for making me think of whores as I eat my cereal. Odd quotes (that aren't properly sourced) can take one out of the story at times. Obviously it did for me.

Now let me point out which words Glenn had in his Scrabble-like lede game with his friends. For those who don't know this game, instead of letters, they pick words out and have to use them in their ledes. For example Glenn was kind of stuck with shrine, nook and cranny and war room (those are like the Q, X, and Z's of the Scrabble world) until he decided to write about the "bravest profession." Problem solved.

Is that the best headline we can use? Did we use all our magic in the lede that we couldn't spare some prose? Shame.

Failing our students

BY DIETTE COURRÉGÉ

Ridge Smith hunches over a newspaper article, harnesses his concentration and focuses on the words.

He wants to prove how well he can read.

His wide, luminous smile disappears. His mouth slowly forms the words he knows. He stops again and again, tripped up on words such as "awkward," "August" and "local."


Come on. I mean, please don't give him the Post and Courier to read. I can hardly read this dribble but to make a kid who can't read and force him to read it aloud is just plain water-boarding-like torture. Which story features the words 'awkward', 'August' and 'local' in it anyway? It seems they are doing my job now for me in their own ledes. Sad thing is they don't know it.

Also, kudos to Ridge Smith for having the guts to tell the Lowcountry he can't read on a Sunday front-page story. I don't think Diette Courrege (I really hope they don't make him try to read this name) told him it would be a front-page piece, but its not like he's going to be able to read it anyway. What? Don't give me that look. Somebody had to say it.

Sorry for the delay...

Its been a busy week here at Bury the Ledes. Sorry for the delay but my son was born and took a little time off. Regular posts will begin as soon as I get feed the boys, change the diapers and and shoot the in-laws. Enjoy

Mourning, tears mix with hope amid ashes

BY ALLYSON BIRD

NORTH MYRTLE BEACH — A young mother wearing yellow rubber gloves sobbed as she climbed up onto the charred pile that had been her family's home.

The perfectly intact toy dump truck amazed Melissa Mattson almost as much as her Barefoot Resort neighborhood at large — how a fire could be so discriminating, picking her home over her neighbor's, her kitchen over a child's toy.



I give kudos to Allyson for trying to make this an Extreme Makeover: Home Edition sob story. In the second paragraph, Ty Pennington comes in, hugs the mom and sends her to lovely Myrtle Beach for the week while they build her a new home.

Also, according to Allyson, fire is discriminating and rather bigoted. Nature is such a bitch.

Hundreds continue containment

BY ROBERT BEHRE

NORTH MYRTLE BEACH — The battle against South Carolina's largest forest fire in 30 years continued Saturday as more than 100 firefighters in helicopters, bulldozers and firetrucks struggled to maintain the upper hand.

In 50 years, knowing South Carolina, we will blame the North and have reenactments of this epic battle with people dressed like they did in the 2000's.

Gang-related activity raises concerns

BY GLENN SMITH

WALTERBORO — The gang member leaned into the crowded nightclub and beckoned to Donald Green to join him outside. The gang member wasn't there to talk, debate or ponder what would come next. Green barely had time to taste the night air before the first bullet slammed into his body.

If I have to read a led two or three times in order to understand it, its not a good lede. Like this one for example. I give it kudos for the Shakespeare-like intro where there is a death or a fight right away, but still this headline is a mess. Our antagonist is nameless, which probably means he wasn't caught. So automatically we have a character to hate whom we have no idea who he is, but we do question if he talks at all. Then our protagonist dies within the first paragraph. The sad thing is we never got to attach ourselves to this character. There wasn't any development, other than that he likes tasting night air. This is actually becoming a Hitchcock movie. This is an obvious attempt from Gary to write his screenplay while writing his story. This kind of killing two birds with one stone is becoming popular.


Also, the headline is a little too easy. Has gang related activity ever been pushed under the rug? Or has anyone ever uttered, "Oh thugs will be thugs." Let's try again Gary.